#0053 | 08/11 | 06:20 AM

Anna came back a few hours ago. She found me toppled on the floor next to the two bags filled with our rations. I was moaning softly. My fingers coated with delicious orange crumbs.

But I was really hurting by then. To be honest, I didn't even know I was on the floor. I had thought I was in some tunnel. Rotating and rotating.

But that was just my head spinning.

I think I was crying? And licking my fingers. And crying. And licking. And crying some more.

Anna came back with a small yellow backpack she assured me was filled with a few necessities she had picked up from scavenging another building. I can't really remember the name of the building... Willmer? Whaler? What the fuck ever.

She helped me back on the bed and produced three small white bottles from one of the pack's outer pockets.

More pain killers, she said. Two of which were Oxycodone. The last one's label was written in a foreign language, German, and was unreadable by either of us.

She gave me three of the Oxycodone tablets. I swallowed them dutifully, although I'll admit, I was kinda disappointed. Pills? The fuck? Just stick me with a needle, baby, and send me to happy land.

But it wasn't so bad. I chewed them gingerly in my mouth - breaking the tablets apart to quicken the pain-killing effect - before sending down to my old friend stomach. I imagine he was shriveled and half-dead by now, our meals were only getting more and more meager. Chased it down with a lukewarm chug of water, and less than thirty minutes later, I was riding an extremely sturdy and energetic horse called HAPPYHAPPYHAPPY, and I rode that playful motherfucker to snoozeland.

I woke up hours later with a pain in my stomach that had me wanting to eat a horse. In my confusion, I searched the room vainly for HAPPYHAPPYHAPPY before I realized heavily that it had only been part of my drug-induced fantasy.

Which sucked.

I'd slept the night hours away it seemed. Anna was sitting cross-legged against a wall. Her head slowly slipping off her shoulder, her balance shifting in a direction that would send her slumping to the floor.

I tried to get up, to righten her balance, to make sure she didn't fall.

But i underestimated my condition and the one who went falling was me. With a thud, I landed on my side, but thankfully not on the side riddled with three bullet holes. Nonetheless, the impact sent a fresh wave of pain over my body.

My fall alerted Anna. She helped me up and prepared for us some early breakfast in the form of two blackened bananas and a can of chilly.

The mere sight caused me to gag inwardly. Yet I ate the meal slowly, savoring the sensation of something going down my esophagus.

She brought out two juice packs (Pineapple, Mmmmm) and gave me two more pills to follow it down with.

I looked at them in my hands for a few seconds, cupping them tenderly while my mind went blank. And then I placed them in my mouth, chewing them in a hope to recreate the quick effect of yesterday.

I was happy for the numbness to follow. I didn't want to be awake.